Buck Up and Merry Christmas Dearest Ones

Family coming into town…ready yourself for the questions. Those loving, and ever invested questions that just make you want to cry. Because the answer is not what either of you want to hear, because their response is so familiar, almost rehearsed in your mind. You could possibly make money guessing what people are going to say to you. That the future is unpredictable, that something great is going to come along, that life is hard some times. Yeah, no shit. These are things I have heard, lived, and gotten over. I’m bubbly, I’m hopelessly optimistic, and I just want to give the world to everyone that I love in my life, even if I don’t have the money for that. Those facts do not mean that I’m dumb. Please, do not let my demeanor and personality deceive you; life has beaten the shit out of me, multiple times, and I come back swinging. I am not, nor shall I ever be a person that settles, that lays down and admits defeat. I may not be winning in the traditional sense right now, but I have the will and The Spirit; and you better believe I have the support of an overbearing family. So give me those puppy eyes when you hear me describe my situation and future prospects, that’s fine, trust me, I get it; but never for a second think that I am losing. I am the underdog that does not pull the “my life is hard”card, in fact, I’m the under dog that wants to punch anyone that does pull that card. Everyone has woes, do you hear me, everyone in their life will be knocked down, that is the nature of life. That is what makes the victories all the sweeter. So I don’t ask for sympathy, I don’t ask for pouty lips, unless they go with a funny joke; because life is far too short to whine, and far too precious to not acknowledge the blessings that I have in abundance.

So if you are like me, and tired of hearing yourself think those “woulda, shoulda, coulda” thoughts…tell yourself to shut up, put on a smile (and possibly an ugly christmas sweater), and go make other people smile. Because trust me, their smiles will cause your smile to be genuine, and your spirit to lighten up.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah every one!

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Trust

Trust has never been easy for me. Even as a child, I wouldn’t want to look into people’s eyes, because I thought they would be able to see and know everything.

 

Being full grown, now I know. People can look into my eyes, and see only that light which I choose to shine on them. People will open up to me and tell me their life story, for no other reason than I must seem trustworthy. And no, I am not a bartender, so liquid courage is not a factor in these strangers’ confessions.

 

There are times when I wonder if these people are fools. I am trustworthy, make no mistake, but who offers up that kind of information to a stranger? If I had hacking skills, and a total lack of morals, I could accurately guess all of their passwords!

 

And then, the far more likely reality hits me. I’m the fool. A victim of this individualistic world, I see most things through a darker lens. Sure my personality is bubbly, I do in fact smile a lot, and strive to treat everyone with kindness and love, but do I ever share in that hope and trust of mankind?

 

I barely share everything with loved ones.

 

Trust.

Trust.

Trust.

 

Who knew five letters would make me work so hard.