Numb Routine

“Numb: 2 Unable to think, feel, or react normally because of something that shocks or upsets you.
-Devoid of emotion.”
“Routine: 3 Regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.”

Most of the people in my life are personally happy for me. Can that count as my own personal happiness?

I feel next to nothing. Sure, my heart beating irregularly, which is normal; my lungs making magic with oxygen…that’s about it.

Other peoples’ facial expressions and tone are my indicators for the proper emotion to convey.

One day I will be a human again. One day I will explain my situation and not have to wait for everyone else’s reaction before having mine.

Hopefully for more than one day.

Until that far off time that starts with a sunrise, and ends with a sunset, I will be. And wait for the “big things” everyone keeps talking about.

Emotionless and empty, but a vase can only hold fresh flowers once the dead ones have been thrown out.

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