Stressed Out Tree

The dry frigid wind is unwelcome in my face.

This beanie is too big, letting all the cold in

exactly where I didn’t want it.

My dog is psyched.

Typical.

It hasn’t hit yet.

With a rude gust of air rushing

around and through my body,

I realized.

It’s gone.

The stress, weight, honor, and pressure

of 200 family recipes.

It’s done, finished,

and will probably halfway

please the majority of my family.

I can let go.

The trees dance as I relinquish

my bundle of nerves

in invisible breadcrumbs

on the forest floor.

There is slight groaning as

the stupid wind pushes

the forest further than their stiff bodies want to go.

A loud high pitch rubbing yell

escapes from a tree.

Suddenly I am running through

the forest like a child,

trying to kick the right pine cone

for my dog as I do. (You would think it was made of steak the way she insists on playing with the same one the entire walk)

My ears perk,

I run hither and thither.

It yells out again.

My dog jumps back in alarm,

and I slowly approach the skinny giant.

It, like me, grew up with curves

instead of straight and tall.

It rested it’s head on a nearby tree,

and the wind was trying to force it to break it’s ties.

It yelled out in protest.

I gently laid my hands on the trunk of the nervous giant.

It’s slight movement was perceptible,

as was the vibrations that

traveled down to it’s base.

Life is built out of the subtle things.

What is a forest without

a few trees groaning?

What would this world be

if we didn’t have people to hold us up when we are

bent from stress?

And would any of it be

worth it if it wasn’t true

that every once and a while

there is a moment,

when everything fades,

time gets a little blurry,

and the vibrations of creation

remind us how small we really are.

And that everything depends on us

being able to let go of the small stuff in our lives, and grab on

to the fact that we have a part to play in the big picture.

Thanks little stress out tree,

don’t let that wind break you.

Family

Family is a very odd thing if you ask me. Which you didn’t, but just go with me on this one…

As children we fight to be seen as “grown up” as a “big kid”, but then once we get a chance at freedom, we find ourselves calling home more to “check up” on our parents, make sure they aren’t missing us too much. The human spirit wants independence, craves the feeling of having control over life.

But the second we lose that control, or rather, the very moment we have the epiphany that we have even less grasp on life than we thought we did, our family is what we cling to. For some this doesn’t strictly mean blood relations. I have a great faith community that I like to think of as family, but when it concerns me, and this post, I am talking of my genetic connections.

They are loud, competitive, adrenaline junkies, foodies, adventurist who for the most part have no clue what “subtle” means, that is of course unless they are planning a surprise or prank. I love them, some days I can’t stand them, but I will always love them. That is the problem with families. Whether blood related or not, there is a connection.

This connection can make us nostalgic, sappy, angry, extremely happy, and giddy idiots. That is why God made families, because we can’t do it on our own. Through God we can do everything, truth, but with family we can learn, grow, and work through anything that God puts in our path.

Life is chaos, and as much as I would like to say that family is the order among it, that would be painting you a deceptive word portrait. While I can tell you that I have been driven to near panic attacks due to my family. And I cannot pretend to know what it is like to worry as a parent does, but I can tell you that my brother and I have given our parents a few grey hairs. Nicknames like Taz, demon child (me), and injury girl (not my brother), are not readily given out.

Family only adds to the chaos, and I should let it be known that I am not an anarchist, but I feel like this is the perfect design for humans. If family was all order, it would be drowned in the vast jumble of life, it’s laws and quiet order would have as much power over our lives as a gerbil cage has over a bengal tiger. Family is the conditioning for life.

At this moment I feel like laughing at the craziness of life, because it’s got nothing on my fam. It’s as if the universe just challenged me to a race up a steep hill in a down pour, and I’ve already sprinted up and down Mt. Everest in less than an hour.

God bless my family, and all families in this world…they keep us strong.